Charm or Charge? The Dance of Agreeableness

The works of emotional intelligence expert Daniel Goleman and vulnerability guru Brené Brown suggest that kindness and empathy are essential in the workplace and in leadership. Yet, certain popular media, like the dog-eat-dog world of “Billions” or the power plays in “Succession,” paint a business world where it’s seemingly every person for themselves.

This dichotomy leads us to wonder:

Is there tangible value in being nice in the corporate world?

Research on the concept of “agreeableness” mirrors the tension between getting along and getting ahead. Agreeableness, one of the “Big Five” personality traits, reflects a person’s propensity for compassion, cooperation, and social harmony.

A recent study found that higher agreeableness was associated with lower salary and promotions, but higher career satisfaction. This same study also identified several benefits of agreeableness in the workplace including higher ratings of performance, leadership effectiveness, subordinate satisfaction with the leader, and higher perceptions of transformational leadership. This study summarized results from 142 meta-analyses reporting effects for 275 variables, from more than 3,900 studies.

Another study echoes some of these findings. The study’s results, derived from earnings data, suggest that highly agreeable men often earn notably less than their less agreeable peers, with a difference that can reach $10,000 annually. However, the agreeableness earnings gap for women appeared relatively minimal. These authors defined agreeableness by two measures: 1) how much one values interpersonal harmony and 2) one’s propensity to offer critical feedback.

Why this gender-driven discrepancy?

Societal norms could be a factor. Often, male leaders are expected to decide with firmness, potentially sidelining consensus-seeking. The study even indicated that highly agreeable men were often viewed as less fit for leadership roles.

So, what should we conclude?

Highly agreeable leaders tend to foster harmonious work environments, prioritize team cohesion, and may sometimes avoid confrontations. While this can lead to a positive and collaborative work culture, they might also be less aggressive in salary negotiations or push for higher pay raises and promotions.

Conversely, less agreeable leaders might be more assertive and competitive, potentially leading to higher individual salaries but at the risk of lower team morale or cohesion. The balance of agreeableness can therefore have significant implications for both leadership effectiveness and career success.

Navigating this spectrum demands introspection. Assess your own personality, discerning where you fall on the agreeableness scale. If you’re highly agreeable, cultivate a knack for asserting yourself when needed to achieve your own career goals. If on the assertive side, try focusing more on supporting your team’s success and building a harmonious work environment.

Whether you have amiable or assertive habits, leadership success hinges on balance. Modulate your approach for a leadership style that’s both effective for your own success and empathetic for those around you.

Our approach at Joyntly is to help leaders develop a healthy balance between agreeableness and more extroverted tendencies, like assertiveness.